28. The Bigger Picture

At my new job, I’ve been meeting a ton of new people. Once college ended for me last Spring, there were no more spontaneous meet and greets. No running into people outside of an organization interest meeting or chatting with new friends walking towards the dining hall. Over the past year and a half, I’ve stuck to myself and my own small group of friends. I’ve tried to focus my attention towards my familiar friendships and family.  I keep my circle small. Not that I don’t trust others, but because I find it easier to maintain a small number of great friends, rather than a large group of lousy ones. A good theory in retrospect, but most of my friends live far away because I met them in college. Because of this, I keep to myself if I’m not hanging out with the friends that do live close. With so much alone time, you’d think I’d get bored but it’s quite the opposite. I have my brain to keep me company, and with a wild imagination, my days span from great to not so great. When I can stay occupied with a good book or drafting a story idea, I’m all set. However, my overly anxious brain likes to cause trouble.

Where will I go from here? Will I ever find a job that I enjoy? What if my friends move on? 

These are all questions that kept me up at night for months. My dad’s famous piece of advice is “You can’t worry about yesterday or tomorrow.” And as much as I’d like accept this as my own mantra, I can’t stand not having a grip on the future. This break that I’ve taken between school and my next life step has been torture, and I would often be swimming in a pool of unnecessary stress.

Fortunately, with my new job, I’ve been blessed to see one of the bigger pictures in life. I’ve met young mothers, folks that have recently lost loved ones, and people that can barely make ends meet. I try to believe that everyone is trying their best with what they have. Not everyone has the luxury to think about tomorrow, when their main priority is getting themselves through the day. Naturally, I’ve adopted this new outlook in life without much effort. It’s being surrounded by those who are thankful to have what they have that’s been the real blessing in my life. I can often get caught up in the should haves and could haves, but I think’s it’s a good time to sit back and allow right now to happen.

 

XX, C.

3 Comments

  1. Well said, Chantal. It has been difficult for me too ever since I graduated – and mostly for the same reasons. My closest friends moved on and at first I felt hopeless, lonely and left behind. It’s just as you said though – with my imagination I am hardly ever bored, and when the loneliness does start to consume me, I pick up a book and hang with my fictional friends.

    I am so glad to know that you have found a job that allows you to appreciate the blessings life constantly gives us, though we are often too consumed with our own worries and woes to recognize them when they come. From me to you, congratulations on finding some peace in a job that certainly seems admirable.

    • Thanks so much Erica! I hope you are doing well. I’m finding I appreciate a lot more as I work more in this position. I deal with a lot of people and it’s on my feet, but it’s something I don’t have to stick with. And that alone is a blessing because some of the people that work with me, that’s their only source of income. So I’m pretty grateful for the experience. And I actually mentioned you in a past blog I wrote called Twenty Something Poet! Haha it was about our poetry class we had together. I hope you’re doing well and had a great birthday recently. (I remember our birthday twinning so well!) can’t wait to read your writing!

      • Yes, I remember we shared a birthday as well! It was strange, especially since you were really the only friend I made in that class.

        I am happy to know that you are grateful for such an experience. If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly are you doing?

        I will definitely check out the Twenty Something Poet blog! I really appreciate that you remember me! That poetry class was…interesting, to say the least.

        If you would not mind, or have any spare time, please offer me some suggestions or constructive criticism! It’s nice when people “like” my posts, but I want feedback, not simply acknowledgment.

        I’ll do the same for you if you ever ask me for it! Writers, Unite!

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